Society has set standards for what they define as beautiful, but how does that standard change. from culture to culture? In today’s episode, Akua Konadu joins me to share how growing up as a first generation black woman in America with influences from her culture in Ghana has impacted her own self-image and love. Listen in as we discuss how beauty standards are vastly different between cultures, our journeys to finding confidence and body neutrality in different seasons, and how the fashion industry could do better.
Review the Show Notes:
Get to Know Akua (:46)
Connecting with Each Other (1:41)
Raised within Multiple Cultures (2:43)
Finding Confidence in Your Own Body (3:37)
Experience with Their Own Bodies (4:45)
Changes in Bodies During Covid (6:48)
Evolution & Science in Our Bodies (15:45)
Influences in Pop Culture (16:55)
Bodies & Inclusion in Fashion (26:06)
My Value is Not in My Weight (33:44)
Inclusive Fashion Brands (34:06)
Who Decided Societal Standards? (42:00)
Getting Comfortable in Your Body (49:39)
Resources & Influences (53:31)
Advice to Younger Self (58:36)
Mentioned in this Episode:
akuakonadu_
Here’s the tea with Akua
Haylee Gaffin of Gaffin Creative
Amber Goddess Designs
Review the Transcript:
Carly Someplace
Welcome to some place for everybody where we talk about belonging and being a human in our bodies in living in and learning to love our bodies. I’m your host, Carly someplace. This podcast is brought to you by someplace images, good wealth for everybody. You can see the full show notes at some place for everybody.com. Now, let’s change some self perspectives
Carly Someplace
Hi, y’all, it’s Carly someplace. And I’m so excited to welcome my new friend who I was recently featured on her podcast, my friend Akua. So a coolest podcast is the tea with Akua Akua introduce yourself a little bit. Tell us more about yo,
Akua Konadu
Yeah, hello, everyone. My name is Akua Konadu. I am a storytelling strategist where I work with entrepreneurs, help them grow their social media through strategic storytelling. I believe that our stories matter, and they’re powerful. And when they’re shared in a strategic way, they can absolutely, of course, grow our business, make money, but most importantly, make an impact. So that’s an I also am a new podcast host for my podcast. Here’s a tea with Akua. With Carly, we’re just honored to find the episode. So I’m so excited that you invited me. Yeah. And I’m so excited that you invited me to your podcast now. So
Carly Someplace
no, it’s it’s definitely it’s fun. And we just like we connected really well. So please come on my podcasts. We just had such great conversation, which was so nice. And like I just I mean, I love great conversations. So
Akua Konadu
for sure. It just totally flowed. And again, like like I gave the shout out to my podcast. Shout out to Haylee man, because
Carly Someplace
Haylee, our Podcast Producer she produces for both of us. And she’s amazing. She’s amazing. She doesn’t she was like, y’all would like each other.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, exactly. So thank you, Haley. She’s right. Trail. Yes.
Carly Someplace
So I kind of want to talk about subjects that we didn’t actually talk about on your podcast, but we did afterwards about just like, culture and bodies. Because you and I obviously, both a grew up in very different spaces in the United States, but obviously grew up in very different cultures in the United States as well, and discussing how our bodies play into those cultures. And the way that we’ll just call it generally our elders of any variety, kind of, I don’t, I guess influence kind of is the right word, like, influence us or push us towards a specific body type, which I think is like a really fascinating conversation.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, yeah, it is. Because I think it was really interesting to hear your perspective growing up. And then compared to mine, and, obviously, me being a black woman, and like, I’m first generation, my family grew up in Ghana, they moved here to the States. I was born here. So I’m first generation American. And so still being raised with American culture with an American culture, but also to like Ghanaian culture, as well. And then black culture. So kind of Yeah, so like, just a wide variety of things that I experienced, but it totally the way that I view my body is very different from the way that we view yours. And like, you know, we talked about how, like, for me personally, like, well, black culture number one celebrates, you know, like, thicker, thicker body types, like the big butt, like the hourglass figure. Big but big boobs. That’s why was it Brazilian Butt Lifts are so popular, right?
Carly Someplace
Oh my gosh, I like I just like, I guess, like, I totally don’t ever want to like put down anybody’s body modification. Because if it makes them feel so confident, then by all means, and like, I’ve totally wrapped my head around that for things like, like boobs, and tummy tucks and things like that, but like, yeah, I guess because I have such a big button that my brain is like, why would anybody ever, like want it’s a lot. It’s a lot like it’s, I mean, it’s been it’s one of my biggest struggles that I’ve ever that I have in my entire life is because, yeah, finding jeans that fit finding anything that is able to like, fit my body and fit my butt because my butt is the biggest part of my body. And I’m really okay with that now, but like 16 year old me was like, How do I put these in shorts? Like I got made fun of in high school, and I got like, all this other stuff and content I got in trouble as well, because everybody’s like, your shorts are too short, or your skirt is too short. And I’m like nobody but it’s just so big that it takes up all the fabric
Akua Konadu
that’s so funny. Yeah, I know. It’s so interesting because like, I’m extremely petite. And so growing up, like it was always like, oh, like I have the body of a 12 year old boy. And not saying that that’s what people would say but just when you see when your concern assuming certain things content, yeah, you know what I mean, just people in general. And like my best friend at the time in high school, she looks like that, like the hourglass figure like that it’s her natural body. And so we were consistently compared to all the time. So that’s kind of where I started to feel very self conscious about my body is because I’m like, I don’t have curves. I am just very small. I’m a naturally small person. And so, and then also to just African culture as well, like, my mom’s like, you need to eat. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you’re too small, like II and the thing is, like, she was very petite at my size at my age, you know what I mean, at the time, because I’ve seen photos of her when she was young. And she was very small as well, like, she’s five, two. And so she genetics, genetics, I like looked at her, I’m like, You looks like that. And she’s still like a small lady. So you know what I mean? Like, it’s just, it’s truly just our body type. Like, I’m petite. I’m five, four. But like, I just finally like now that I’m 33 metabolism is starting to slow down. So like, I’m now officially gaining weight, where like, I’m actually at a weight that I’m happy with. Like, during the pandemic, I absolutely put on weight. And it was kind of funny, because I know people are gonna be like, what the Holika. But like, I didn’t realize that I had gained weight. Like, it didn’t click to me because none of my jeans was fitting, and it still didn’t click to me that I had gained weight. I just was like, none of my jeans are fitting, like what is happening? And then I had a doctor’s appointment. And they’re like, Yeah, same on the scale. I was like, Yeah, whatever. I’m like, 115, like, okay, whatever, we’ll check, and I was 130. And I just like, looked, and I was like, what? And I said, Now, let’s hop on that again. That’s not right. I’ve always been 115. And she’s like, No, like, it says here that you’re 130. And I was like, and I like clicked. I was like, I’ve gained weight. That makes sense, why none of my clothes were fitting like it totally was like, an afterthought. Yeah.
Carly Someplace
And I think that that’s just like things, I’m sure that people are going to be like, Oh, must be nice. Absolutely. But like, in time, our bodies change. But here’s the thing. So And here’s something that’s like, totally mind blowing, to me, is the size difference in, let’s just say a pair of jeans, between gaining 15 pounds when you’re petite and you’re in a smaller body versus gaining 15 pounds, when you’re in a larger body, I gained quite a bit of weight over the pandemic, which is totally fine. And it’s not a big deal. And I’ve just, you know, enjoyed myself and eat whatever I want and cook at home, which is really tough. And but I have changed one gene size for 50 pounds. Really. That’s
Carly Someplace
it? My jeans like that is like my jeans fit in like the in plus sizes, things are so much more like flexible, but they’re not at the same time. And yeah, it absolutely blows my mind that I’ve only gone up one size for that much of a weight gain. When in a smaller size body, that type of weight gain is going to be drastic. And I think that’s something that’s so severely flawed within our culture. And just of American society, we’ll we’ll just say the fashion industry. Yeah, because it’s not just America, just in the fashion industry in general is that you could gain five pounds and go up a gene size and that feels devastating to many people. Or if you’re like me, you can gain 50 pounds and go up on Jean size. And that’s very different. Like that’s extremely different. And so it’s just like, absolutely mind blowing to me. That like flexibility in sizing in bigger plus sizes versus into like, more like I would say smaller, straight sizes, like the smaller straight sizes is like a half an inch.
Akua Konadu
I didn’t even realize it yet. Because during the pandemic, I’m always in sweatpants, like we all are. So again it just so I just kept wearing my sweatpants, like all of my different sweatpants. And I was like, okay, like, whatever, like my jeans aren’t fitting today and just keep wearing them. So when I finally went the doctor’s office, she said that I was like, oh shit, like, all right. And so then I started getting comments, like, you know, because then I actually had to go get jeans. And so then I was wearing clothes. And then yeah, like my body was just being celebrated like because like I’m very petite, but I do have a but for how small I am. And that’s the first place where we went gravity. So I know so I was very, like, people have something like, oh my gosh, you got like, baby making hips, like stuff like that. It’s like what like I was starting to be told this is all just refit, by the way. Right? Yeah. And I’m like, okay, like now I love my ass. Like, I mean, I like the weights that I have gained. But again, it is truly like what we have been exposed to growing up. Like I like now that I’m a little bit thicker, right? That’s being celebrated for me. But again, like, I struggled a lot when I was just so small and like I didn’t have the curves and I was so tiny and I would eat a lot like I just had a high metabolism. I was an athlete, a collegiate athlete as well. So like I ate I’m hungry all the time. And so but I just,
Carly Someplace
I’m burning 13,000 calories a day. It’s fine. Yeah. Right. And
Akua Konadu
I’m like, Oh, I just was a monster.
Carly Someplace
Honestly, I just remember it was when Michael Phelps was in the Olympics. So what quite a few Olympics ago. Like they did like this thing about talking about like, his diet and that he eats like 16,000 calories a day to be able to keep up with like his workout stuff. And I remember my brother seeing a nutritionist when I was in high school and my brother’s a skier. And he was competing. He was competing on that a national level when he was like, in his early teens. Yeah. And they were this nutritionist. My mom was like, again, my mom was like, he eats so much, but like, I literally can’t keep weight on this kid. My mom was like, maybe he’s sick. Maybe he has a tapeworm, maybe. Maybe like, he’s just so small and scrawny. And I mean, also, just like boys grow in like a foot at a time. I swear, my brother went from being like, short to being six foot two in like five minutes. Like what? But so my mom took him to a nutritionist and they were like, Okay, well, based on Garrett’s activity level, he needs to be eating between six and 9000 calories a day. And my mom was like, Okay.
Carly Someplace
What do you want me to give this child?
Akua Konadu
Yeah,
Carly Someplace
because he was skiing, like we’d, you know, do the normal things, get up, go to school, whatever. And you still have like, gym and sports and everything like that growing up, and then we’d get off school. And if it was winter, my brother would go skiing directly after that, and then go ski for a few hours after Yeah, yeah. Then ski all weekend, every weekend. So he’s just like crazy. And what they’re doing. He’s just not like normal skiing. He was competing in big air. Like, you’re just like throwing your body in the air and the amount of just like, energy and muscle control and energy that it takes to do that is crazy. It’s crazy.
Akua Konadu
So yeah, I’m sure he like needed to consume so many calories. And so yeah, like, I just, I was hungry. I’m like, that’s my whole family. Like, my brother, too. He’s six one. But he was always two very scrawny, like, literally us growing up, like he would eat all the food. And I’ve just be so mad because you had to and my sister’s younger, she’s like six years younger and eight years younger than my brother is six years younger than me. So like, she wasn’t an athlete at the time. So my brother are both athletes. And like, I like wanted to kill him because I was like, eating food and I’m hungry bitch, like that was me. Right? I would just love it. So like, we were both like, start to be petty like, hi, mom. I’ll be like, I’m going to the grocery store. And we’ll get double. Everything like that was
Carly Someplace
me. My sister like his Boggan story in a lot of ways, but like my sister moved in and out with us a couple of different times. And when she moved back in when I was like, 16, she’s a year and a half older than me. So she was like, maybe she was 18. Maybe, yeah, I was like 16 and a half, she was like, 18. And she moved back home, and she moved back in with us. And my sister was like, so conscious of the fact that like, my brother, and my dad will eat anything. And everything in our refrigerator was labeled. Like if my sister bought something specifically for herself, like there were just like Sharpie marks that just said, Nicole all over everything. Like, don’t eat myself. I’m like, and it became like a common theme in our house that like, if you had leftovers, if you had a specific drink, if you had something like that, like that, you were that was yours. Like you had to write on it and their refrigerator, because my brother would come home and just like, consume it all.
Akua Konadu
I know. It’s so funny. Yeah, it’s so interesting. Like I said, just how we all just perceive our bodies. And like, it’s crazy. Just Yeah, cuz,
Carly Someplace
well, and I think what’s like crazy, what’s the craziest to me? And I mean, obviously, it makes sense. But it doesn’t is like that. That’s like the point in our lives when we’re kids, when we’re like, really in that like, middle school phase that we’re growing into our bodies and our metabolisms are changing. We’re going through puberty, we’re like, everything is changing so much, and that’s like, the harshest environment. And everybody’s body is changing.
Akua Konadu
I think it totally like depends on like culture and where you’re growing up, because like, my niece, who is biracial, and so she lives up in Duluth, Minnesota, which is two hours north of the Twin Cities. And so she is taller than me, she’s about five, five, pushing five, six, and she is very well proportioned, like but she got a butt to like, you know, but now you can see a little bit more because she weighs more than me like she’s, she’s not petite but she’s also like, she just is very well proportioned for her size. And it’s just really interesting because she went to one school that was extremely diverse that you know, like where it’s a lot of like African Americans, Latinos, like, very, very diverse and so like her body was more celebrated there like obviously she’s still really young, but like she just felt more comfortable. There is What I needed to say, because you’re
Carly Someplace
seeing, you’re seeing all different body types and you’re See, I mean, like literally when it comes down to like, our body types are different and we cherish different things in different cultures because we were raised in different places on the planet. Yeah. And evolution did these things to our bodies for us to survive, like, yes. Right. Like, that’s like I look at people sometimes I’m like, how do you not understand that concept? That like, literally?
Akua Konadu
It’s easy to forget though, right? Like we get zoomed,
Carly Someplace
I guess. I don’t know. I guess I never forget that. Like what I like, yeah, that’s darker skin. I’m like, Oh, they’re from a climate where the sun shines literally 24 hours a day. And yeah, like, yeah, their skin. Melanin exists to like, keep you safe from the sun. Yes.
Akua Konadu
And like, yeah, and it’s true. And like those, like you think about things that I do. I personally think it’s easy to forget, though, because like, yeah, it is evolution. It’s science, why these things are happening to our bodies, like we evolved to survive where we are, which, that is such a good way to to think about our bodies that way. Like, again, to your point when you travel like body neutral, mutuality, neutrality, neutrality. Thank you. Thank you, are you talking about that? Like, okay, like, my body is this way right now, because it is helping me survive. It is helping me to live. Like, it’s such an important thing. And so even with my niece, like she now goes to a school, now she switched schools, and so she’s at a school that is predominantly white. And, you know, she’s biracial, whatever, but she’s a little bit more curvier than most of these girls. And so she’s noticing it now different, but luckily, like, she’s very like, true to who she is. And she likes having a but she’s, like, unsealed, like, I don’t really I don’t care, like I like but again, like I feel like courier now is more celebrated. And you know what I mean? Like, it’s more accepting, so she’s more confident in her body type and who she is, even though she’s like, aware, like, oh, I may not look like everybody else, which is, and I think
Carly Someplace
that there’s, I envy the next generation. Yeah, because they do have these like, these influences of like different body types in the media that we just didn’t have like we didn’t like any any kid now is obviously going to like know who Lizzo is and is going to know who like some of these, you know, other artists are and just just seeing people even seeing like, let’s obviously like, take Beyonce as body Beyonce scarves, like, number one pop star in the universal. Yeah. And then and you look at that, and you compare it to like, oh, gosh, okay, so the trend that’s coming back that I think is terrible is low rise jeans.
Akua Konadu
Oh, my gosh.
Carly Someplace
How like, like I can I can get behind Gen Z being like, bucket hats are cool. And I’m like, Yes, protect your skin from the sun. But like
Carly Someplace
you do you boo, but like low rise jeans. I just don’t think because when I saw this meme about it, and I was like, That’s it. Low Rise jeans. It wasn’t that the jeans were fashionable. It’s that your body was the fashion statement. And like, it’s like you had to have that like flat stomach pointy hips. And like little like slim waist that then went from it to where low wrote low rise jeans and not have them literally just like slide down. Yeah, it’d be ridiculous. And I could never wear low rise jeans because my butt is so big that there wasn’t enough fabric to cover it.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, no, I just I like I like I said I have a but for how small and so no matter even if I was tiny, the buck was there. So I couldn’t write them either. Because they were
Carly Someplace
they just they just they don’t work. They don’t work at all and and I see things like this coming back. And I’m like, Why? Because I’m like we’ve we’ve evolved and they’re like, well, high res students are out those are like no mom jeans. And I was like, I don’t care. I’ll wear my mom jeans all the time then like I love my high waisted skinny jeans like I feel powerful. And I but it’s just such a commentary that like when I think about even like big pop stars of like our growing up like look at even I don’t want to be like Britney Spears but like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera like all of these girls who were in the spotlight at that time are just like they were these like thin twigs wearing these low rise jeans that were like here is my very sculpted body because obviously they’re pop stars, they have personal trainers, they have nutritionists, they have to be able to create create their bodies this way and be and on top of that their pop stars. So they’re dancing like four to five hours a day like yeah, obviously their bodies look like that. That’s what they’re literally doing all the time, all the time. Such an unrealistic expectation. And I think that now just the way that a lot of people have grown into their bodies if they’re still a pop star and in that type of light. And then as well new people emerging it specifically like Lizzo is always my favorite. Like I wake up to a Lizzo alarm clock every single morning.
Akua Konadu
I love that I just love her and I think to even Lizzo though kind of gets a lot of heat even in the book, like with black culture as well because again, like we celebrate thickness, but to a certain degree like Like, it’s like there’s a difference between being thick and being fat, right? Like, that’s what they totally. So she and I think she’s beautiful. And I think she has a beautiful shape, right? So I’m just like, again, it’s like when you kind of start to ask yourself like, when is it enough? When is somebody going to be enough? Because yes, Beyonce has scores by and yes, and Beyonce is the ideal. Like she is right. She’s still toned in the right places, but she’s busty in the right places. So like, she’s still considered ideal. So like, yeah, we celebrate curves, but it’s only a specific type of curve. And that’s what I that’s what’s so frustrating because I’m like, Alyssa was no different. And so that’s why I love even today, too, that like, fitness is being redefined. And like influencers, too, are being redefined of like, it’s truly like, what is healthy for your body, and like, what nourishes your body, not, I’m gonna punish my body for XYZ, so I can look a certain way. Like, I love that, because then it’s helping me except where I’m at right now currently with my body because like, no matter if I was super petite, or maybe a little bit bigger, like we always have certain types of insecurity. So it like, it just allows me it gives me the space and the permission to just accept where I’m at now and be okay with that. Yeah, which I love.
Carly Someplace
It’s, it’s an that has changed so much. And like, and then there’s part of me that’s like, is it just because I’m in my 30s? And then I watch tick tock, and I’m like, no, no, the younger generation gets it. Yeah,
Akua Konadu
they do. They do. Like they are a lot more receptive and more open, which is great. And so this is so random, but this just popped in my head before I forgot. Do you remember? Like, oh, my gosh, rubber, like Hollister and Abercrombie and Fitch were such a thing. And like,
Carly Someplace
I literally never went into like, once because, like, not not a single thing that they have would have would have ever even fit me even in high school. Oh, I couldn’t work at my smallest and like anything like that, that nothing would have ever fit me from any of those places.
Akua Konadu
I think the point that like, Yeah, cuz like, I thought of that, just like how you had to look a certain way. Not even just like body type, like even skin tone. Like I they wouldn’t approach me because I’m dark skinned, you know what I mean? Like, it was always like, white, blond, or light skinned, or whatever. And then like, obviously, to you had to be really small, like, and then you just think about it now. And I’m like, That is disgusting. Like, growing up, like during our teens during that time, like I just remember like, that’s everything. And I went to a predominantly white school. So that was what everybody was wearing was Hollister, and Abercrombie and Fitch, like, oh, you work there. Like, that’s when like, you people would like feel like our Yeah, like, I’m the shit. And it’s like that. It’s just disgusting that like these companies out here. Like we ended up placing our values in whether we were hired to work there, like stuff like that, I hated it, like a lot of my friends would work there. And I felt like the ugly friend all the time. Because I never was offered a job or anything like that. So like, I placed my worth in that too. Like, I just think of that. And like, that’s just gross.
Carly Someplace
It’s so gross. It’s so like, like, and I see even that within my own. Just like I don’t want to say family. I’ve discussed a lot about my grandmother here on the podcast. And I’ll say that my aunt kind of falls prey into a lot of like, the things that my grandmother has said to me that I’ve been like, Nope, I don’t accept that. Whereas my aunt did. And my aunt accepted a lot of what my grandmother was saying to her as just truth of the situation. Because she trusted her mother to some extent. And so like, there’s all this and I look at the influence that it’s had over my aunt and the relationship that she has with her body, even now in her 60s, and I’m like, I just wish you could see that you can just be yourself like that she and she still thinks she needs to fit into and my aunt is like blond hair, blue eyes naturally thin, naturally tall, like all of these things. And my grandmother kept being like, but you could be better. But you could be better. You could be thinner, you could be this you could be this and, and it’s like so and my mom tells this story that my mom, my aunt, quote unquote, like ran away to Europe for a few months, which I’m like, Good for her. Like she when she was like 18 or 19 maybe 20 Because I think my mom was already dating my dad. So that sounds about right. So like early 20s. We’ll say like, went on a trip to Europe, supposed to be for two weeks and then spent like three and a half months there and pretty much just like, made a phone call to my grandparents and was like, I’ll come home when I come home. And like came home and my mom was like, my mom was like your aunt was a different person. She was like she came back. she’d grown out her hair how she wanted to she’d had some like world read romance in Italy and like all this other stuff. And had just she goes and for the first time didn’t have your grandmother breathing down her neck about how her body should appear. And she was like she came back and she my mom was like she’d gained weight. Not a ton but enough that my mom was like, Whoa, you look like a Your person. Yeah, he was trying to be this like, again, a skinny blonde pale skin, everything like this. And it’s just like, and that is it’s that I was actually thinking about this before we got on this morning of like, like supermodels that I remember seeing constantly like on TV or being like, oh, that’s what you should look like if you’re going to be pretty. And the one that my brain goes to which you might laugh at me. Heidi Klum is like the person in my brain that I’m like you are the face of like, all of these campaigns of my teenage years that I like to look. Because she was like, she was a Victoria’s Secret Angel. And she has legs that are like 85 years long. And they really are. How do you clean his legs are beautiful. Yeah, like, but that’s the beauty standard. I was holding myself to as a short ish, curvy woman with dark dark, dark, dark brown hair. Lots of freckles like that is I don’t look anything like hiding.
Akua Konadu
Oh my god, I remember we talked about this too. Like, I feel like everybody hated the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show for many different reasons. Because I hated it. Because yeah, I had a similar body type. But like I, I had a similar body type but like it was like always, like I’d see like people say like, oh, yeah, like, like, specifically like black culture, like be like, well, they look like 12 year old boys, right? Because again, craziness and thickness is celebrated. And so I was like, I’m good rates.
Carly Someplace
You’re like, I’ve just Yeah, okay, cool.
Akua Konadu
People hate it, right? Because like, Hey, I don’t look like that. And so I’m just glad that they stopped doing it.
Carly Someplace
Or they stop doing it. And I’m so glad. Like, we watched the savage Fenty fashion show. During my brand retreat that yeah, I watched all of my brand ambassadors and my brand ambassadors are all different sizes, all different races, like everybody’s so incredibly different, which is fantastic. So to sit down with a group of women who are all different body types, and like, watch that fashion show. And we were all just like screaming at the TV and being like, yes. And just like and, and in the fashion show, like you’re talking like all different races, all different sizes, all different,
Akua Konadu
but disabilities to everything like that.
Carly Someplace
So many things and all different genders like just Yeah, see, like, oh my gosh, seeing some of these like one like men walk out. I’m like hat. Oh, where have you been my whole life? Like I’ve been just watching.
Akua Konadu
Yes, I love Rihanna so much for paving the way honestly because like now, like Victoria’s Secret started then like all of a sudden trying to be more inclusive and all that stuff. But like,
Carly Someplace
I think there was also cuz this one that she put out, which that was in the fall when we watched it. That was her third one that she’s done. A year so Okay, so if 2021 was the third one then what 2018 was the first one. Um, so if you look at that, so then there’s like, I was scrolling Facebook this morning, and it popped up. I see a lot of things like this, but somebody had shared Sports Illustrated 2021 fashion show their swimsuit fashion. Oh, okay. Which was super cool. And also super body inclusive. But I wanted to be like, Yo, Rihanna paved the way for you. Because she did it. Everybody lost their damn minds. And then everybody else was like, oh, maybe we should do that. Maybe we should be inclusive.
Akua Konadu
And the fact that it’s just the fact of like, you look at the intentions of these brands, right? Because, you know, Rihanna Lake. She didn’t I mean, it just it makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense, right? Like, why wouldn’t you include because it’s for everybody. But a lot of these other brands, it’s like, they’re intentionally exclusive to people. And so now that they see inclusivity is cool. Okay, like, yeah, we’ll do it when it’s like, it’s like, inclusivity is more than just a trend. These are human beings. We all have emotions, and we all matter. And so like, we just want to be seen and heard. And so it’s Yeah, but I’m glad though, that like more brands and stuff are being much more like body inclusive.
Carly Someplace
Me too. It’s such a like, it’s funny, because you say like the exclusivity I was. I mean, on the business side, obviously, we’re both small businesses and different things like this. It’s such an interesting thing to be pretty exclusive as a small business, but I’m pretty exclusive as my small business in being a luxury. However, the exclusiveness comes down to the fact that I serve all body types, which is the most inclusive thing I can do. And I think that like, because like in my brain, like if I think about exclusive brands, the first thing that comes to mind is not Victoria’s Secret, it’s like Louis Vuitton and like all of these like exclusive super high end brands, but mind you, yes, some of them make clothes. Most of them make bags and shoes which fit frickin everybody Yeah, I’m like, let’s start with there. Let’s start where with where these brands can be luxury, and a statement in themselves, but are technically almost all size inclusive for the fact that they don’t make things that are. I mean, as you obviously get into designer clothes and things like that, and that goes back to that fashion industry and fashion shows and things like that. Yeah, but the first brands that come to my mind when I think of like, exclusivity and that like, I don’t want to be like high roller status, whatever, is bags, bag versus purses and shoes are
Akua Konadu
like wear. It’s so true. So true. And they’re
Carly Someplace
and they’re statement pieces, and they’re, and they’re all it doesn’t matter what size you wear, you can wear a bag. And I think that it’s
Carly Someplace
Yeah, so then to like, take that. And like you said, Hollister, and Abercrombie and Fitch and like, and even Victoria’s Secret those brands, and they’re like, oh, let’s charge $150 for a pair of jeans that only fit like 8% of the population. Yeah,
Akua Konadu
exactly. Right. It’s just, yeah, it’s it’s so interesting. And again, like, I’m just really happy that things are evolving, though, we still do have a long way to go. But things are changing, which is great. And that just makes me more hopeful for like, the younger generation.
Carly Someplace
I get, I get so much hope from them. I honestly do. And I and I hope that things that we’re doing, are helping with that. Like if I can help that generation who is already like so and they just have such a better grasp on it than I did at that age. And I’m like, Yes, do it. I’m so excited. Even like, yeah, my niece is 13. And, and she’s like, Yep, this is how I want to be this is how I want to act. And like this is how I want to, you know, be doing things and I’m like, God, I wish I was that confident. Oh, yeah,
Akua Konadu
I was not like my knees. I was not at all no at
Carly Someplace
all. It’s just it’s so frustrating. Like, like, because I wish I could just like, go to my 13 year old self and be like, Listen, your butt is a blessing, it’s gonna get you many a boyfriend. It’s gonna get you many boyfriend, it’s gonna like you as if you learn how to dress your butt, you’ll be fine. And also, like,
Carly Someplace
just do what you’re doing because it’s fine. Like, I just, I wish I could just like teach kids like, stop paying attention to what other people are doing. Like put your blinders on and just do you because that’s the best thing you can. And I think wrapping it back even to into business. Because now as business owners, they’re like, be yourself show your brand, which Yeah, absolutely. Well, like you were saying was storytelling and like, our own stories are so important as to who we are as business owners. And it’s so hard when we’ve had to like shove all of that down to like, fit in for such a long time.
Akua Konadu
Such a long, like, come on. And I mean, I still think at 33 You know, I’m still trying to figure it out in certain areas where I’m just like, oh, like things from high school or whatever, where I’m still like, I’m caught up with like my body in a certain way. And I have remembered like a cool adult now. You like it just Yeah, so I’m definitely loving my body now. And even with the weight that I’ve gained, like, obviously, I’m happy about it. But now trying to be a lot. I just am now like, okay, like, I gained weight, great. This is where I want to be like, I’m just gonna maintain it and do the best that I can. And if I lose weight, like that’s okay, like it doesn’t like my values, not my weight, which, right? Yeah.
Carly Someplace
Which is, which is I mean that that small statement is life changing. My value is not in my weight. It’s not like, there are such other better metrics to judge ourselves by kind yes or no? Exactly. Am I a good person? Do I have morals? Like, not? How much does each one of my buttcheeks weigh?
Akua Konadu
Still even like, I’m like, especially on Instagram, it’s so I mean, yes, Gen Z, like, they’re very, like, you know, they’re awesome, they’re fearless and all of that stuff, but still like how much stuff especially like the fashion like where I shop, like where I like to shop, which I’m trying not to, but like I can’t help it because like fashion nova and like, those types of things like I mean, they have really cute stuff that’s just like it’s so quick to get. But
Carly Someplace
and for me on that flip side of it is their size inclusive, their size I can wear I can wear the cute shirt that other girls are wearing, because their size inclusive and they make sizes and sizes. That’s something that I haven’t had in my life and like my brain is like this is terrible for the environment. They’re not the greatest company and I’m like, but the the I don’t want to be like the like self value but like the the idea of putting on something that I saw on an ad and was like, Oh, that looks cute. I’ll order it and I can order it and I can put it on and it fits my body. That
Akua Konadu
is huge. It is huge. It’s huge. It is huge and like and that’s what I like is that they are size inclusive, but then also to like you look at their Instagram page, and they’re still promoting unrealistic beauty. Oh, yeah, it’s because like, if it’s not plus size, it is somebody who has a BBO and a boob job. And again, that Hourglass figure, because that’s where a lot of their outfits are meant to. Like it’s meant for that, like a lot of their clothes are made that fit that body type because I’m like I said, I’m petite. So there have been times I have ordered from fashion nova small where it’s like, it’s assuming that my hips are very wide. And I’m like, I’m like it’s very clearly meant for that, like, hourglass figure. So when you see what they promote on Instagram, it’s like all the girls have look the same and have the same body type. So sometimes I struggled to with fashion nova, but I do. Yes, but I have found a lot of other more inclusive brands on Instagram. I think it’s called like mesh ski or something like that, which I really liked that one but like they absolutely like and I love like the reels where they like show like what the same outfit will look on a plus size and a size two, yes. Like I love.
Carly Someplace
There’s a it’s showpo that I started following. And I think that they’re out of Australia, I’m not sure if it popped up for me as like an ad one day. And I was literally like, it was like, probably somebody who’s in like the size to four range. I got a girl who was like a 1618 wearing the exact same outfit photographed in the same photo together. And it was like clothes for you and your bestie and I was like, oh my god, what is that? Seeing that I took a screenshot I wrote an entire post about it. I was like, this makes me have fields. This makes me have so many fields because like this, why is all advertising not like this? Look how cute this outfit is? Look at that it can fit all these body types. And we carry other sizes. Like what a concept.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, exactly. And that’s why I love like and so even Yeah, I think Meski doesn’t and like a couple other brands. Like I love that when they’ll show that but they also show people who have like, either some type of like skin like there was a woman who had burns on her body and she that were their outfit. And she was stunning. Like, you know, I love that with social media, especially to like, people are being much more intentional with their marketing. But it’s interesting when you go to like places like my loving some Tarjay. But I don’t understand why a lot of these clothing stores still have these very like slim, slender mannequins and stuff like that. You know what I mean? Like little things where I’m like, okay, like, certain pieces just still haven’t changed?
Carly Someplace
Yes, I think I mean, it’s baby steps to get there. And we’re definitely getting baby steps. And we’re definitely seeing progress. And like my brain is like, okay, so by like 2025 Can we just be like, cool. Let’s have multiple mannequin sizes in every single store. Yeah. Like, can we can we just do that? Like, can we add like, an add multiple mannequin sizes in like, yeah, obviously they’re mannequins, they’re plastic, and they have to go into like an actual mold and things like this. But like, mannequin sizes, where I would love to see mannequins that when you put the clothes on the clothes are either being clipped, or like something like that. So you can see like, Hey, this is unrealistic. This is a piece of plastic, and the clothes, we’re making fit the piece of plastic, not the other way around. Yeah, and like, I just think that because something I wish would come back, I wish tailors were a thing more like, I don’t want to say custom clothing. But even just being able to like to purchase things that are made to size. One of my like, very good friends. It was a lingerie brand, Amber goddess designs, and she makes everything fit to size for your actual body measurements. So like you put on a bra from her. And it is literally made for your ribcage and your cups like that is for you. And that is like life changing and you put it on and it feels like there’s nothing there because it was made for you. And I’m like, What a concept versus Like, I literally put anything else on and I’m like, why is this so uncomfortable? Yes, I’m wearing bras like early 2020. And like pretty much haven’t gone back yet. The other day, I like wear this top and I was like, I was like, I think I’m gonna wear this and my boyfriend looked at me and he’s like, you know, you
Carly Someplace
have to wear a bra if you wear that, right? It’s like, Yeah, and he’s like you hate bras. I do. He’s like, so you’re still gonna want to wear it. And I was like, yeah, it looks cute. And he’s like, okay, he’s like, so when everybody leaves and you’re like, oh my god, get my bra off of me. He’s like, I’m gonna make fun of you and tell you that you could have just worn something different and not been uncomfortable in abroad. And I was like, I appreciate you so much. But also, this looks cute and I will suffer wearing a bra. Like we shouldn’t have to suffer is the whole
Akua Konadu
it’s so true. Like what are you willing to sacrifice? When you know just what’s considered beautiful like, right? Yeah,
Carly Someplace
it is the first thing that goes like, Shit, I see women wearing heels and like, and I dislocated my knee in 2013. So like, after that, like I can’t wear stilettos, period, it’s just because once you dislocate a limb, your likelihood of doing it again goes up by 50%. And seeing as it was like one of the most painful experiences of my life and I have dislocated my knee to the
Carly Someplace
inside, to the outside instead of inside, which is why I know it was terrible, terrible, I was not comfortable I was I was working on cruise ships, we were in a nightclub in the Bahamas, I turned somebody moved to table at the same time that I like turn to like sassily Stomp away. So I like pivoted all my weight onto that leg and turned as somebody was moving a table out to like a like a low table coffee table status to let somebody into a chair and the corner of my corner of the table just like went into my knee. It was not good. off but I dislocated my like the way I dislocated my knee is pretty much like one in a million as well. And knee dislocations so cool. So I’m like this really small statistic of how I did it. And my doctor was like, you’re probably never going to be able to wear high heels again. And I was like, you know?
Akua Konadu
Sure. All right. I’m okay with that.
Carly Someplace
I have some like little cute chunky block heels. But like, I can’t wear stilettos anymore. If I put them on there for show. They’re definitely for show. Whatever that is for show. I wore those for eight minutes while I was taking photos and then I took the ball took them off. But it’s like I see people walking in heels and I’m like, Oh girl, like aren’t your feet uncomfortable. And I understand there are definitely comfortable ones and I everybody’s feet are arched differently. Like that’s the thing. Everybody’s so different. Everybody’s feet are arched differently that might be the most comfortable shoe on the face of the planet for them. And they’re just used to it. And I’m like, Well, if
Akua Konadu
Nafa
Carly Someplace
and just like, I mean, stilettos were invented by men to make women’s legs look longer
Akua Konadu
braids. You Yes. Just think of these things. And like everything that like all of these rules and what’s considered beautiful and all of these things were made by white men. So then when you finally like realize like everything like man wearing
Carly Someplace
wigs and heels, my dad,
Akua Konadu
like you just started to realize like everything’s made up. Everything is made up, everything
Carly Someplace
is made up. Everything is made. I just like so when I was in college, so I also do makeup as well as being a photographer. And I did a ton of makeup in college, which is where I pretty much became a makeup artist. For all of these student films. Well, I did, um, it wasn’t a student film, it was a theatre production that I was part of. And everybody was in like full period makeup. So like the white with the like overly blushed and the like beauty like the big old beauty mark and the wigs, the wigs and the white curls and the whole, like very early colonial America slash like England, Enos. And first of all, my brain is like, how did we keep things like this clean? And the answer is they didn’t think about the hygiene of wigs in like the 1700s. So,
Akua Konadu
right grow up because I wear a lot of wigs and those have washed regular right, so
Carly Someplace
Exactly. Oh, and like, men
Akua Konadu
can see right now because I’m disturbed.
Carly Someplace
Like you take it and like, these are the people who decided upon like society’s standards.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, these men thought they were the shit.
Carly Someplace
They did. They did. They did. And I’m like, and like, you know, ankles were improper at that point. So like,
Akua Konadu
I know. You just go back and you think of these things. You’re just like, make it make sense. And then how these things have traded, like stuck through today.
Carly Someplace
Right? Exactly. And it’s like, like, yeah, the powdered faces and the wigs are gone. But like, what? Oh,
Akua Konadu
yeah. I mean, like, even just, you know, I read a study, it was a dissertation and she found it. I don’t even know how the hell I found it on Google. But it was a dissertation from a PhD student at Texas a&m or whatever. And she did a research of how white men view black women like in regards to dating. And it was really interesting, just how like sexualized like there was so many past studies that were done even during way back in the day with like, during slavery, where it was talked about how like you finally got, like, got to see how black women’s bodies have been. We’re totally sexualized back then. Which totally makes sense to how black especially black women how our bodies have been sexualized now, especially When it’s like teenagers like it was disgusting. Yeah. And so again, it’s just to the point of like, when people were just like, oh, like, you know, our past doesn’t affect our future. It’s a flat out lie. Like, oh, yes, beauty standards that are displayed, right from way back then still live hundreds of years ago, hundreds of years ago.
Carly Someplace
And think like, I love historic fiction. Especially like throw romance in there. Like cannot wait for the next season of bridgerton. Sign me up.
Akua Konadu
Got like you never seen that show. Oh,
Carly Someplace
my gosh, okay.
Akua Konadu
Talks about it. And I just don’t think I’m ready. It’s a Shonda Rhimes show, which
Carly Someplace
Shonda Rhimes show, and like, nothing is like, an I love bridgerton because in a modern sense of like, it’s obviously colorblind casting, there’s all of this other stuff that’s being done. And people are like, this is unrealistic, but like, yes, but like, let’s just, let’s just enjoy that. Exactly. Like, yes, it’s unrealistic, because history wasn’t that way. But like, that doesn’t mean that we can’t rewrite history in a different way. Yeah, now, it’s perfectly acceptable. It is perfectly acceptable. And so like, but anyway, but I love I love the whole, I guess, like part of why I love historic fiction. I love to like descriptions of the like crazy ballgowns, and things like that, like I’m such an extra human. I own over 50 ballgowns, like that’s where my studio but still, like literally my mom was helping me sort out my like client closet the other day. And she was like, so where are these six new gowns going? And I was like, Oh, they’re probably gonna go back to your house to the gown rack. My mom’s like, I thought we were moving out here. And I was like, maybe eventually, but like, I don’t know, for all 50 Plus gallons right now my mom’s like, you’re a ridiculous child. And I was like, you bought me a rack in your basement for my ballgown collection.
Akua Konadu
So I’m just using, right, like, I’m just using it.
Carly Someplace
But I love the like, I guess, quote, unquote, fashion of that time period. Because I think that, I mean, one, these are all beautiful, beautiful pieces. I think that the craftsmanship that went into them is what I really find. Absolutely stunning. And they’re just such a process. And I think that it’s such an interesting thing that like, it’s just, it’s fascinating to me, but then again, like Okay, so like ankles are like taboo, oh my God, and like, you know, things like this, but at the same time, they’re like, let’s let’s take your titties and put them up next to your chin. I know, I’m but like, heaven forbid we see your ankle. Oh, my goodness.
Akua Konadu
Okay, make sense.
Carly Someplace
But But, like looking at that, like, truly, the fashion and the, like ideals that were created in these royal courts in Europe. And nowhere else. Nowhere else in the world in Europe are now apparently the world standard. And these were 500 years ago. Why? Why you’re so like, it’s not even. But it’s like you’re right. That Yeah, absolutely. The past affects the future. Period. Yeah. So we can be in a time that is changing. I’m so here for it.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, I’m sorry. 10%. Yeah. 110%
Carly Someplace
It’s yeah. I mean, I still like ballgowns.
Akua Konadu
And there’s no shame in that to enjoy. There’s
Carly Someplace
no shame in that. I have no, I have no shame in my ballgown love game. Yeah.
Akua Konadu
Like that actually. Sounds really dope.
Carly Someplace
Exactly. Like give me give me some crazy petticoats. I’m ready. Like I just just like once I just want to feel row Frehley. And just like, Queen like. So I’m here for it. Exactly. I’m here for it. So yeah, I don’t know. But it does it. Absolutely. It absolutely affects everything. I’d be super curious to read that that dissertation. I need to find it. Yeah, you can find it I would love to read was like
Akua Konadu
40 pages long. And I made it like halfway 20 Like, it was so good. I’m actually gonna try to I should try to find it. I’ll send that to you. It was
Carly Someplace
I’m here for it. If we if you find it, we’ll throw it in the show notes too.
Akua Konadu
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Carly Someplace
They want yeah. So let me ask you some of my questions that I asked when I interview Yeah, one being so which we’ve kind of touched on this a bit. So like, what was a really like, either a turning point for you? Or was there like a catalyst of anything where you started to be more become more comfortable with your own body? Obviously, we’ve talked about like growing up and being in these like, yeah, middle school standards, but like, where? When did you start to settle into feeling good in your own skin? And was there a specific like, catalyst or reason for that?
Akua Konadu
I will honestly say probably just like recently, maybe the last few years because I think yeah,
Carly Someplace
honesty is great. On their own different journey, everybody
Akua Konadu
is I mean, back in 2018. I got super sick so I got ended up with E. Coli. And yeah, and C Diff at the same time. So if you don’t know what C diff is, it’s just got Staying and it also runs rampant in hospitals like if you’ve been on, it’s really common if people have been in the hospital, they’ve been on like a large amount of antibiotics or like wipes out all of the good and the bad bacteria in your gut. So like, all of a sudden, you can have C diff, which if it’s not left treated like you can have some you could potentially die like it’s super. Anyways, so I ended up getting both of them at the same time. So I had lost probably like 10 pounds within a week, like I. So it actually took me a while for my body to recover. Like I looked very sickly, for at least a year. It’s crazy. I was sick for that happened in one week, like when they finally was diagnosed when I was on antibiotics to like, hurry up and like get rid of everything. But it took me 12 weeks to officially get rid of the stuff I had to be on antibiotics for 12 weeks. So I got it back came back. So like, again, losing the weight so quick, like my body just took such a hit. So I ended up looking very sickly. And then also because of that, like I was so afraid to eat certain foods, because they were like you got it from wherever and then the CDF they didn’t even know where I got it from. Right. So I just was very afraid of also to not wanting to get sick. So I looked gross. Like I just I definitely would get stares at like when I worked at a church and like this woman like looked at me and she like literally came up to me. It’s like you look super unhealthy. And I was like, Thanks, lady. Like I’m literally still recovering from being sick. So like, I love it when
Carly Someplace
people just want to give you their opinions. And you’re like, yeah, what what
Akua Konadu
it looked like right now, you know, but I think for me, like, of course, I felt self conscious. But then I also was just like, it’s a really, I definitely have empathy for people who have chronic illnesses and definitely like, are going through some really severe health issues, because it is a really shitty feeling when you feel like your body is failing you. Like, that whole time was like that realization for me like holy shit, like, my body’s not doing what I want it to do. And at that point, you didn’t really give a shit what your body looks like, you just want to be healthy. You know what I mean? Like, whatever that looks like, just want to feel better, you just want to feel better. So like I think for me, like that was the turning point of finally just like accepting my body of where I am. And I was like, I just want to be healthy. So even like during the pandemic, when I gained the weight like I’m it took me a long time to get back to 115. And I didn’t look unhealthy. My mom’s like, you just look like yourself. And I’m like, that’s all I need to fucking hear like, that was music to my ear. So I was like, I just am back to where I was pre sick. ecoli and CDiff. Yeah. And then when I gained weight from the pandemic, and I just like was like, okay, like, my body has changed, but I am okay, because I’m still healthy. Like I am healthy. So yeah, I would say probably like, just recently, because again, like you get older, like, right, like I said, I’m a former collegiate athlete and all of these things. And, you know, like, you just you just always assume that your body’s still going to be what it is. And there’s a big difference. And I’m still young, y’all. So I don’t think that I’m old. I don’t. But there is a big difference between, you know, 17 and 18. Your body then and then now at 33. And so which I am now which I’ve been learning right these past few years. So I think for me, that was just a turning point of like, I just want my body to be healthy, like I just didn’t like I’m okay, right now, if it doesn’t look what everybody thinks it needs to look like. I just want it to be healthy. Yeah, so Yeah, huge, huge. Yeah.
Carly Someplace
Well, and then and so this kind of plays into that. So I’m curious. So are there any like, influences because this is obviously if you’re having this turning point after having had a really serious illness? It’s obviously a lot of self reflection that comes in with that, because so I asked people, if you have any, like, books, or media or people or anybody who’s like, inspired you to have more confidence within your own body and different things like that. And I think that, but it’s also such a personal thing, and it does, yeah, there’s not always an answer to that. Like, it’s not like, it’s not like you read one sentence one day, and you’re like, Yep, this is it. I’m comfortable with myself now. And I, I really do actually think that sickness is a lot of that I was super sick in college, I have ulcerative colitis. And during my diagnosis period, it was really hard. It took them the whole other thing on the medical system, it took them five years to diagnose, and that’s
Akua Konadu
painful. I know people that have had that. It’s terrible.
Carly Someplace
Technically, it’s technically a chronic illness, I will never not have it. But I know how to manage it, which is a completely different thing. And so but going through that process, and and I lost a lot of weight really, really quickly, like almost up to 40 pounds in a month. And that’s like, yeah, that’s a lot. And I was in college. So I was 19 and young and all of this other stuff. And everybody was like, You look amazing. You look amazing. You look amazing. And I was like I feel terrible. I cannot keep food in my body. I’m bleeding in a lot of places. Like this is just really uncomfortable. I’m in pain all the time. I’m upset all the time. I can’t think straight, but like apparently my butt It looks great. So I should be celebrating it. And I was like, I don’t want to celebrate, I don’t want to celebrate my body, my body, my body at that moment was absolutely failing me and giving me no other options than to rest, which is a very important thing to learn. But at the same time, like, I was like something is wrong. And just because my body looks good, doesn’t mean that it’s right. Yes. And I think that and that was a huge catalyst for me, honestly. And that that came from no outside influence whatsoever that just came from myself of being like, this isn’t right, people telling me that I look good, or whatever, because I’m sick. And I look back, there’s very few photos of me at that time. And when I look at some, there’s this one photo of me in this art space, and we’re painting these huge canvases, and the photo was taken from behind, and you can see like, all of the knobs on my spine. And I was like, and it’s not even that I was, I don’t want to say skeletal. Because as some people get sick, and their body just loses weight. But like, for me, that’s not something that has ever been visible on my body. And I was like, Oh God, like I looked at that photo. And I was like, I look sick. That is like, to me that is like, when you’re in a space, when your body shows off so much bone, it’s like it needs more, in some way or another. And that to me was like, absolutely life changing to see that photo of me taken from behind where I was like, Oh, I look unwell. How are people telling me that I look good?
Akua Konadu
Yeah. And it was the fact that you had to see it to like, know, like, for me this isn’t it like, again, like outside of that approval of other people? Oh, you look great. But it’s like, no, like, you know yourself well enough. And, you know, like, you know, what your body needs. And so I think that’s such an important point to have just like, you know, yourself of what your body needs and how you want to look. So like, that’s what matters, not what other people are saying. Because again, like you weren’t healthy at that time.
Carly Someplace
No, not healthy in the slightest. And that was like, that was a huge thing. So I didn’t really have any outside influence, I guess when I started, like, making those changes for myself and changing myself perspective for my own body and becoming more comfortable in my own body. Because I was like, this, isn’t it? This isn’t acceptable. And so like, when I get back to feeling good and healthy, I’m going to cherish my body so much more because of that. And yeah, I think, and if I really say that, like I was my own biggest influence in that point, because I was like, this isn’t acceptable. And this isn’t what I want.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, and I think I think, for me, it was honestly just like, my friends and my family, like, you know, I think when you are in such a vulnerable space, it’s really important. And this is just in life in general, when, especially if you’re in a season of like, you’re in that messy middle, you’re in a season of growth or whatever, you have to be super intentional with who you spend your time with. And so for me during that time, like I just spent a lot of like, I just got support from the people who know me and love me and know me beyond my body that would speak truth over me. You know what I mean? And so that’s where it was like, okay, like my, but like, I don’t look that bad today, like, you know what I mean? It’s just more of that accepting of it, because like, they know me, and I’m like, okay, like, I’m still a kind person. I’m still XYZ like these things that truly matter of who I am. And so just having those people just always consistently seeing me and speaking truth over me, was so important. Because yeah, it was like not a fun feeling at all going through that. So I would have to definitely say like, my friends and my family.
Carly Someplace
Yeah. And then my last question, which I’m curious, because we’ve actually talked a lot about our younger selves, and yeah, which would be what advice would you have for your younger self concerning concerning your body and concerning anything, and I always preface this with like, younger self could literally be two years ago or younger self could be like middle school.
Akua Konadu
Yeah. I think even just some, I think like, even middle school and high school, just your body is beautiful. And you know what I mean? Like you are uniquely built, like you are unique. And so utilizing just like your personality, everything like who you are, as a person, you’re utilizing that to the fullest make making that work for you, and not doing what other people expect you to. So I think just like loving my body and the journey that I was on an even just me a few years ago, I think, again, just reminding myself that, like, I have been given this gift of my body and it is a gift and I’m thankful for it. And I’m thankful that it’s gotten me through the challenges that I’ve gone through. So yeah, I think that’s what I would say, if that makes sense to
Carly Someplace
body neutrality. That’s what you’re speaking.
Akua Konadu
And I love that term. Now though. I still can’t say it correctly, but
Carly Someplace
neutrality is a really weird travesty,
Akua Konadu
but the thing is like why I hear you saying I’m like, oh, yeah, neutrality, but guess what, five minutes later after this conversation I’m like how the fuck did she say that like neutrality Okay, got it. Cuz you’re saying it right now. So it’s easy for me to remember like,
Carly Someplace
it is that that like, you know your body is is doing what it needs to do and your body is you know, it’s supporting you through these challenges and it’s existing. And then, and then it’s okay. And I should love it because it is uniquely built and uniquely made and it is just mine. And that, that becomes body positivity after your reality. So those are important, important distinctions and steps,
Akua Konadu
which I love when you bring that up because it is so true. It’s very true.
Carly Someplace
Akua this has been amazing. I literally love talking to you.
Akua Konadu
This has been great. I’ve enjoyed this
Carly Someplace
conversation. Yeah, too. Thank you so much for coming on. And tell us where listeners can find you as well.
Akua Konadu
Yeah, so you can find me on the gram at Akua konadu. Underscore or on my website, www dot Akua konadu.com.
Carly Someplace
Hmm, fabulous. And does your podcast have its own Instagram?
Akua Konadu
Oh, my gosh, I forgot about my dang podcast. are cracking up? Shout out to you for reminding me. Yes. And I’m also the host of here’s a tea with a cooler, which is a storytelling podcast. So we talk about all various hot topics. And so yeah, it doesn’t have an Instagram page. But definitely, again, connect with me on Instagram. And definitely check out the podcast. Here’s the tea with Akua yay,
Carly Someplace
perfect. Akua thank you so much.
Akua Konadu
Yes, thank you.
Carly Someplace
Thanks so much for listening to someplace for everybody. If you love this episode, would you mind leaving me a review in your favorite podcast app and subscribe to the show. If you’re looking for a community to love on you and support you in your self love Journey, come join our all gender Facebook group someplace for everybody which can be found in the show notes at someplace for everybody.com Until we meet again. Be kind to yourself
