Episode 020: Manifesting to Movement with Patty Wells – Part 1

Do you believe int the power of manifestation? My friend Patty Wells and I sat down for a very intriguing conversation all about manifestation. This conversation was soooo good that I wanted to break it down into two parts. In this first episode, you’ll get to know Patty and hear how she got into manifestation after having judged it, how to avoid burnout as a creative, and overcome imposter syndrome. Listen in as we open your eyes to the power of words, reflection, and manifestation.

Review the Transcript:

Carly Someplace
Hi friends. I’m so beyond thrilled to share today’s episode with you. My friend Patty Wells and I sat down for a very intriguing conversation about manifestation. This conversation was so good that I wanted to break it down into two parts. In this first part, you’re going to get to know patty and hear how she got into manifestation after having some judgey attitudes, avoiding burnout as a creative and overcoming some major imposter syndrome. So listen in as we open your eyes to the power of words, reflection and manifestation. Welcome to some place for everybody where we talk about belonging and being a human in our bodies and living in and learning to love our bodies. I’m your host, Carly someplace. This podcast is brought to you by someplace Images, boudoir for everybody. You can see the full show notes at some place for everybody.com. Now let’s change some self perspectives. Hi, y’all, it’s Carly someplace. And I’m so incredibly excited to introduce you to my very dear friend. And one of my current brand ambassadors, Miss Patty wells. So besides being one of my brand ambassadors, Patty is a writer, she recently went back to school in her are you 40 yet Patty?

Patty Wells
I am 41.

Carly Someplace
Yeah, that’s what I thought I thought so you were like, I’m going back to school in my 40s. And it’s great. Um, which I think is really cool. And then Patti, I know you have a fantastic list of other things that you are besides a brand ambassador and writer, so introduce yourself to the people.

Patty Wells
Hi, I’m Patty. And besides being a brand ambassador and writer, I’m also a student. So I, at the beginning of the pandemic, I was a small business owner and my second career where I had the opportunity to learn on the job for two brilliant careers that I loved. But I’d never really been able to do what I wanted to do, which was go to school, go to college, I didn’t get that opportunity after I graduated high school, and right, and I thought, Well, hey, I can just do it. And if it doesn’t work out, I can go back to doing what I know how to do.

Carly Someplace
Right? There was nothing holding you back at that point.

Patty Wells
Yeah, so I enrolled in college at 40. And I close my business down, which was perfect timing, because it was a transportation logistics business. And like now everything it’s like so hard to do transportation and logistics, we’re running out of everything. And that’s like the stress that I would have been dealing with. So it was perfect timing. I decided to get an English degree and eventually an MFA and focus on my writing. And that has in the year that I’ve been doing it has gone wonderfully. I’m now a freelance writer. So I’m actually getting paid to write in a various.

Carly Someplace
Like, I love this, and also I get paid for it.

Patty Wells
It’s great, it’s great. And I think the the greatest thing is that when the opportunities came, or, you know, I, someone presented me something or I heard about something, oftentimes, I’d have imposter syndrome and be like, I’m brand new at this, I shouldn’t do that. But I would just apply. It’s kind of like applying to be the brand ambassador, I was like,

Carly Someplace
I could do this

Patty Wells
happens, you know. And all of these opportunities have helped me grow not only as a writer, but as a storyteller and as a person. So I’ve had the opportunity to, like, cover local events and tell other people’s story, share my own story. I’ll be a public speaker, when like regional contests I’m it’s just it’s been a great experience. So that’s, that’s kind of what I do right now.

Carly Someplace
I love it. I honestly I feel like that, like you could be a walking advertisement for like, this is what happens when you decided to follow your dreams after you’ve like done all the stuff. Like you did the stuff. You had successful things going and you were like, Yeah, but what about what I want, and I think that that’s really powerful. Like that’s something that a lot of people really don’t let themselves consider is like changing, changing, changing big things like that. And I think that it’s it’s really fantastic. And I will say that like from an outside perspective, I would never look at you and be like, Oh, imposter syndrome, which I totally get because at the same time, like I have imposter syndrome all the freakin time, all the time. But like everything that I look at you and what you’re doing, and you’re like, Oh, I submitted an article to this and I was considered for this and I got you know, I was on the long list of this and I won this and I’m like, Oh my gosh, Patti, go get it like It’s so cool to like, just see you rise and all of these situations. And I think that, and you, I was gonna say you would do it with at least from the outside, it looks like such little hesitation. And you’re just like, Nope, this is what I want. And I’m going for it. And it’s like, so powerful to watch. I love watching that in other women. And of course, I know, obviously, almost all of us have a healthy dose of imposter syndrome because we’re, we’re very much so taught to be, I don’t want to say small, but kind of it’s like, oh, you can do these things, but only if you do them in the correct order, or things like that. And I I’m I’m really proud of you and everything that you’ve accomplished in the last year. It’s been really cool to watch.

Patty Wells
Thank you. I think the biggest thing is that like, I think a lot about manifestation and a lot of the things that I’ve been able to manifest in my life in the past few years. And I think a lot of people think manifestation is this like, like magic wand that you wave where you’re like, I’m just gonna have this stuff happen. And they don’t realize that that it also includes like, overcoming fear and overcoming self doubt and being okay with the fact that like, the imposter is there, right? Like one of the biggest things that I worked on, and I, you know, I went to coaches and I, you know, I did like actual work. It wasn’t like, you know, they talk about shadow work. It wasn’t like, I was just like, oh, yeah, I’m gonna say, you know, I was like, listen to that critic and be like, Okay, well, that critic is there for a reason. How do I put that critic to work? What do I do? Imposter syndrome? Like, how do I use it to my benefit? Because it’s here, right? It’s not, it’s not,

Carly Someplace
it’s here. It’s not going away. So like, how can you be a tool instead of a hindrance? Yeah. Which is a huge, I mean, but that’s a huge step, just to take it and look at, look at it that way, which is a change. It’s like a very big shift in perspective to be like, alright, if you’re not going anywhere, like how can I make you work? How can I do anything with this? And I think that I, you’re so right, though, about what people think about manifesting that, like, when you’re like, Oh, I manifested this for myself, people like, Okay. I just love I love that when you met your partner, you’re like, I manifested him. And I’m like,

Patty Wells
I know. And everyone’s always, like, you know, really? And I’m like, yeah, no, I thought that I was going to meet someone organically, and people were like, that doesn’t happen anymore. And then I went into a restaurant and sat next to my lab partner.

Carly Someplace
And I, it’s, it’s honestly, it’s crazy. And so there’s not many people that know. I’m gonna say it publicly. So when I was in Bali with my friends a couple years ago, we actually, we were definitely like working on a lot of like, manifestation and different things like things like that. My friend, Amanda and I sat down and wrote out like, everything that we would want in a partner. And I can tell you that pate literally fits that pretty much to a tee. Like everything that I would want. And there were a couple things that I was like, this would be nice, but like, whatever, but like, not essential. And like he, he’s literally every single thing that I wrote down. And it’s, it’s kind of crazy. And it’s kind of amazing, because I’m like, This is what I said I wanted and then when I met him, and when I and when we started dating, I was like, oh, yeah, okay, this is it. Yeah.

Patty Wells
Yeah. And so it’s so great. Because you can do that with, you know, what you’re looking for in a partner what you’re looking for out of your career. But once you feel like once you actually put the work into figuring out what it is, when other things come along, and they’re not it, you can go okay, well, this is close, this job is close, but it’s not it, it doesn’t check these boxes for me. Or it doesn’t, you know, this person is close, but they don’t do this for me. And it’s like, once you figure out what that is, it’s much easier to get to where you’re going. Because you have this like this idea of what your actual what to actually wax you know,

Carly Someplace
exactly. So my, my previous boyfriend, it’s funny that you say that my previous boyfriend, I was like, okay, like, he checks a lot of these boxes. And we dated for like, eight and a half, nine months. And when we broke up, like, I was upset, but I wasn’t like, bit everybody’s like, Oh my gosh, are you okay? And I was like, Yeah, because I knew he wasn’t the one. Like, I had a great time with him. And I was sad, like, because he was a very good friend and that like, and you know, and we had, you know, a great intimate connection as well and things like that. But like, at the same time, like I knew that it wasn’t him. I knew there were a lot of things that he did that I was like, This is so much better than past relationships, but like is this forever? And the answer in my head was no and so like, and it was like it was it was a weird breakup, because I kind of broke up with him but he also kind of broke up with me at the same time and it was more of he just got me out where I was like, Hey, this isn’t working for me, can we talk about it? And he said, No. So I was like, Okay, well, I saw that coming. But it was, it was refreshing to like, especially I’ve heard after having, like, made that list of, of what I wanted in a partner to see most of it there, but know that it wasn’t all of it, and that I wasn’t going to settle. And even though I was having a great time with him, and enjoyed his company, it was okay, that it wasn’t going to be forever and that at some point, we would get to that point where it was no longer a thing. And I think that you’re so right in the way of like, manifesting that. You’re just you’re giving yourself like, these are the guidelines of what I want. And when you get to something and you’re like, Okay, this is close, but it’s not it so okay, I’m gonna keep looking and I or I’m gonna keep working, or I’m gonna keep doing these things. And that is it really manifesting is I really say it’s like more making promises to yourself to find those things. And to, to dedicate yourself to finding those things instead of like making the magically appear.

Patty Wells
Yeah, and understanding like when you’re talking about the person you were dating last and, you know, the almost job or the almost thing that it’s okay to have grief that these things didn’t meet all the boxes, like, I was like, I had a thought and I wrote it down. And it was the reminder that there’s so much beauty on the other side of grief, right? Like, grief is there to remind us that when we get to the other side of it, like we will have so much beauty on, like on the other side, it’s okay to let go of these things that aren’t what we want. And it’s okay, that they aren’t what we want. But to know that like what we want is out there, right?

Carly Someplace
Yes. Yeah, exactly. And I think it really is that like, what we want is out there. And like that is so not gonna be like a story about a different guy. I was on dating apps for a really long time, okay.

Carly Someplace
I was on dating apps for a really long time. So and I don’t know if he was into this. I’m not gonna say his name. But I might, I don’t know, I’m not sure we’re still friends. So I matched with this guy on Bumble. And he and I, he had worked on cruise ships. And so and I worked on cruise ships. And I knew he worked for Norwegian because when I scrolled through his pictures on Bumble, there was a photo of him wearing a Norwegian name tag, which literally, when you wear something on your clothing for two straight years, you know exactly what it is like to like double check. You’re like, oh, that’s a Norwegian name tag, with our little blue pins above it. Like I knew. I was like, Oh, my God, he worked for Norwegian. And so I was like, looking at him. And I was like, Do I know you? Do I like so I like that. I go on Facebook, we have 78 mutual friends.

Patty Wells
Oh, my gosh, a lot. That’s not a small amount of people.

Carly Someplace
Definitely. We’ve definitely worked on the same champs, we’ve definitely whatever. So we started talking. And I was like, what ships did you do, and we start chatting back and forth. We’ve done all the same ships, just literally at different times. Like, like, have, again, 70 plus mutual friends, like all this other stuff, he loves to travel, he loves to do all this other stuff. Like, we had great conversation. And there was like, definitely like flirting and things like that. And it was trying to like, figure out like, hey, like, let’s meet up and potentially go on a date. While he was road tripping across the US. I was like, Let’s go on a date. And so nothing ended up working out. But I was like, I mean, I can fly to New Mexico and meet you there because you’re gonna be there for a few days. And I was like, Is that weird? And he was like, I mean, if we’d met on ships, and gone on a date, we probably would have like, had a first date in Honduras. So like, New Mexico is not that out there. And I was like, see, this is the type of person that I need is somebody who’s like, who was like, No, you’re not psycho for doing these extravagant in some other people’s minds, like ridiculous things, because that’s just who I am as a person. And I travel all the time and doing things like that, like making a side jaunt to go see somebody is like nothing new for me. So I was like, Okay, this is really cool. And this is like really different and, and I really like it and so, and we chatted back and forth, and he ended up in Florida and we just like it just never worked out. But I was like, I messaged him one day and I was like, I just want you to know, like the fact that you exist. It like gets me one step closer to like, knowing that there is somebody out there for me, even if it’s not you, even if it’s not whatever it was, like the fact that you exist and the fact that like, you check most of these boxes and you are you know, we have such a shared history and even to this day, we still haven’t met each other in person and like but have all these conversations and can have these similarities and have this and like and have on top of that then mature conversation and all of this other stuff but still be able to laugh and do all of these things. I was like just the fact that you exist makes me feel like there is somebody that also exists, like, you can’t be the only one. I know that we’re all unique. But there are, there are so many similarities in people. And I was like, I was like, I’m just really happy you exist. And he was like, Okay, I’ll take that compliment. It’s just like, I was like, when I when we were talking, or whatever, because obviously we’re weren’t ever really dating, we’ve never met in person or anything like this, it was just a lot of flirting and, and different things back and forth. And had we met on ships, I know, it would have been different. But like, I was like, God, I’m just so happy you exist, because like, I feel like I’m not crazy searching for what I’m searching for. And that was like, really eye opening to me. And, and that would be like one of those things that like, when I was writing that manifestation list, I was like, he had a lot of these things that I was really interested in, and that I really cherished in what I want in a partner. Was it all of them? No. And and even with paint? Can I say that? Like, every single one of those things that I wrote down? No, but like, 98%.

Patty Wells
Exactly. And, and it’s like, you know, is, like, do I have everything that I want in being a writer right now? No, but I have 90% of it. And I’m working actively toward 100. Or like, no, that growth is possible with this person, or this job, or this, you know what I mean? So it’s like, it’s knowing that like, even if everything isn’t exactly as I need it to be, most of it is, and we’re growing. And we’re, we’re moving,

Carly Someplace
I think, in that there’s always, I think the thing with manifesting is that there’s always, I don’t want to say more, because that makes it sound greedy. But there’s always, there’s always more work to be done on ourselves to help us level up to I don’t want to be like unlock those things that we’re manifesting. But like really, like, there’s always more work to be done within ourselves. And there’s always more to to work on within ourselves, or even within our relationships, or within anything that takes those things that you really want. Like, if you want somebody who communicates really well, you need to work on communicating really well. Those are important things. And it’s a lot of reflection of self. And and I think that knowing even if you’re in the 90%, somewhere, that 10% might be you instead of somebody else, or instead of something else, like that last bit of percentage is how can I work on myself and improve these things to get there. And I don’t ever think there really is going to be 100% Because if you are in the mode of manifesting and doing all of these different things, you are constantly working on yourself. I think that that’s like such a good reminder that it brings you is that you’re working on yourself continuously. And what you want changes and evolves and moves forward. And you continue to manifest more and more things for yourself by doing that

Patty Wells
work. Yeah, and it’s crazy. It’s like, so there is I don’t I don’t even remember the author of the book. I just know the book is called I am and I I remember, like hearing this book on a podcast called like mind, mind love or something that I was listening to on a road trip with friends. And I remember listening to the lady talk on the pat on the podcast and my immediate reaction because I can be super judgy was like, this girl is crazy. Oh, it’s crazy. Like, you can do anything shit. And I’m, like real

Carly Someplace
woowoo. But I’m like, Okay, we’re gonna be real woowoo friends that is

Patty Wells
like, no, she just didn’t say she’s she has God inside her or something like that. And then like, my immediate reaction to that was like, Whoa, Patti, like, maybe you should just calm down a little bit. And the fact that you are having this reaction should tell you something. Right, right. And I remember reading the book and actually getting on the book and being like, oh, there’s some really interesting truths in here. Okay, I’ll go

Carly Someplace
to the book, and we’ll put it in the show notes for this.

Patty Wells
You might read that book and be like this. This is Lady is crazy. And that’s, I think one of the things that it’s like really important for me to say like about my journey, and all of the transformations that I have had. It’s like, when I talk to other people about it, it’s, I don’t expect you to do the things that I have done. And I don’t expect you to be like, Oh, well, Patti has done this to get here. So I should do it too. I expect you to like see what you can take from my journey to apply to your own and then find your own truth. Like you might be like, You know what, I really appreciate what Patti said about this, but I don’t necessarily agree with her. It makes me feel like this and then that’s your own thing. Awesome because I think do that too. I take what works for me from like, so many different things. And I figure out how to, like, make it my own. And I’m not like, oh, this person is this to preme. Like, you know, authority on XYZ, right,

Carly Someplace
right. No, I totally agree. I totally agree. And I think that it takes, again, a lot of looking inward to be like, do I when you read books like that, when you, you know, you’re like, Okay, do I actually feel the same way? Or am I like, caught up in the tide of what they’re writing being like? Yes. And then it’s like, but does this apply to me? Does this actually apply to me? Or does? Or do I need to make my own version of this? And I think that, that self awareness comes with a lot of that. But I mean, you’re like, you’re like, I can be judgmental, I don’t really think that being judgmental can be a bad thing. And hear me out when I say that, because because I do it too. And, and that’s the thing is, I do it too. And I feel like I, I snap to a lot of judgments on anything and everything, like pick a subject, and I’ve got a snap judgment about it. And and that’s fine. Because I know that I’ve taught myself to take that judgment, and then be like, Okay, where did that come from? Like, that’s my next question to myself when I do something is where did that come from? And then usually, the questions that I asked myself after that judgment is, is that a healthy thought? Or is that a, like, a thought that society has given you? Is that like, where did these thoughts come from? Are they genuinely yours? Or are they something that has been fed to you via the media via family via I don’t know, a religion via anything like to be able to take those and I just snap to a judgment and then be and reevaluate, and it’s the reevaluate that I think is so incredibly important in comparison to like, the actual judgment.

Patty Wells
Yeah, and some of those judgments are there like some some of the reasons why we have that is to protect us, right? I mean, no, absolutely. Yeah, it’s, it’s a protection mechanism. So it’s okay to like, have them. But then, like, like you said, like, being aware, okay, I just have a snap judgment. I just like, I call it Patty patty.

Carly Someplace
So, in the podcast episode that I recorded with Kayla, who was 21 of 2020s, brand ambassadors, we were talking about how like, yeah, like, we’ll see people wearing something and be like, Oh, girl, and then and that’s the initial reaction. And then it’s like, you know, what, you do you? You do you like that is such a, it’s taking that step back? Like you said, Paddy, Paddy? Like, huh. So it’s not a bad thing. It’s not abounding?

Patty Wells
No. I mean, that’s one of the things that’s like I like when we think about like bias and all of these things, it’s like, to be able to acknowledge them. We’re not We’re not supposed to pretend we don’t have them, right. Like, that doesn’t get us anywhere, right? It doesn’t get me anywhere to pretend that I can’t be petty about things, or to pretend that I am never judgmental. What gets me somewhere is to notice those things, and then ask why, like you said, like, why is this valid? Or is this not valid? Do I this is this work? I need to do? You know?

Carly Someplace
Yeah, and I think that that’s, oh, it’s, that’s, we, I don’t want to be like, we’re both talking about it. Like, it’s an easy thing to do. It’s not it’s, it’s really, it’s really not to take that second question of is this valid? Versus this is, this is what I think about it. And so I think that it’s such a, like, unique thing to find others who who have got that, like, it’s not even second guessing ourselves, because that totally has a different meaning in that way. But it’s like to like actually to question ourselves more than second guess ourselves after an initial reaction, which is technically a second guess but you know, words in the English language and what they actually mean is

Carly Someplace
Yeah, it really is like, to be able to take a step back and be like, where did that come from? Is is really, it’s hard and so like to anybody listening the next time like you find yourself having a straight up judgment about literally anything, be like, Okay, where did that come from? Like, just to ask yourself that takes a step towards that like, I don’t even want to say like higher consciousness but it really is when you question everything that you do yourself but in a good way and not like a second guessing way. It’s a good thing.

Patty Wells
Yeah. And I mean, a lot of it just comes like, it was a long journey for me and I, I, you know, like, I credit like meditation and things like that. Because before I even could ask the question and like about investigate it, it would be just noticing it, like just just being aware that like, oh, like, there’s a thought in my mind that like, just came right up, you know? And, like, not judging myself for having the thought. Right. Um, and just noticing, okay, well, that’s

Carly Someplace
right. And I and I, actually, I was very recently reading something about meditation or listening to an audiobook. And they were like, it’s not that you need to sit there and just like, the whole time, it’s like, when you have thoughts pop into your head, acknowledge them, decide if they are something worth thinking about later, and move on. And I was. I’ve never even considered that like, my brain is like be MTV, MTV. MTV empty. But there’s no empty. There’s no in our brains. But it’s like, it’s like seeing when you are sitting in the quiet with yourself, what comes up and whether you need to acknowledge or move on.

Patty Wells
I don’t know how many times like sitting on the meditation mat. My brain just goes taco. Taco taco taco. And I’m like, trying to Zen and it’s still like, and I’m like, really? I’m supposed to be like in some I’m supposed to be getting some like deep, like Nirvana share. And what you’re thinking of is Taco.

Carly Someplace
Tacos. The body is telling you that it wants tacos.

Patty Wells
One of my first things and learning like with meditation is just to be like, Yeah, okay, my brain. She just does some weird stuff. Let her sit here for like 15 minutes and scrape taco. And then like, notice it and then keep on going. Right?

Carly Someplace
But that acknowledgement of like, okay, cool. I want tacos. And like, Tell me tell me that when that meditation session was done that you didn’t go get tacos

Patty Wells
I was like, okay,

Carly Someplace
like I heard you, I heard you have some tacos. So if you could shoot for now. While I try and meditate, we’ll get tacos later. Yeah. But it’s true. I mean, meditating, meditating is hard for that reason meditating and, and focusing on just letting ourselves be instead of think, and instead of like, move forward, or, like, drown out the just the noise. I mean, both of like daily life, and the media and social media. And like, there are so many elements that come into our daily lives now, that make it so much more complicated, in so many ways, that sitting down and like being quiet with yourself is really hard, really hard even. I mean, even if you just take a look at, like, having a phone on you at all times.

Patty Wells
Yeah. And it’s, it’s really, it’s hard. But it’s also like, when you do it, when you like, carve out that little bit of space. It’s like, oh, wow, like, I am so good. It’s like, even if even if you get nothing done during like, even if you meditate horribly, if you just like sit for a little bit alone in silence, or like, outside in nature, or whatever, you decide, what is what that little because we’re always expected to go like we are. I saw a meme and it was like we all deserve, like best actor and actress nominations for our Yeah. Our ability to like be highly productive individuals during a pandemic at the end of the world, you know, with World War Three coming up and all of that. And it’s, yeah, like, we are all like, I look at everybody I see. And I mean, it’s important to understand that we’re all struggling, are also all doing the most like we are doing, like even like everybody, the moms, I know, the entrepreneurs, I know, the like business, everybody we are doing so much. And it’s like, yeah, it’s, it’s both amazing. And it’s also important to acknowledge like, we are, you know,

Carly Someplace
what we’re doing and I really, I really think it’s that acknowledgement Though like we, because here’s the thing. So let’s go back to imposter syndrome for a second is that you and I, and anybody else who has imposter syndrome, we’re not giving ourselves credit for the things that we are doing at like surviving, and, and presenting and, and moving forward and doing all these things. And then we’re like, oh, but I’m not good enough for this, but like you’re maintaining 85,000 other things.

Patty Wells
Yes. And we’re always thinking about what we’re not doing, though. Like, that’s the thing. It’s like, you know, I got up today, and I did all of these things. But right, I don’t think about those, like, what I think about is what I didn’t get done today, or what I didn’t accomplish, and it’s hard to make that switch when your brain it because you’re trying to produce and that’s why your brain is trying to do it. It’s like, you know, you know, you can’t get to where you’re you need to go because you didn’t do X, Y and Z or you’re not good enough. But then we actually like sit like if I sit and I look at like, the list of stuff that I did today, right? When the imposter syndrome comes up, I’m like, Ah, hold on, bitch.

Unknown Speaker
We did shoot today, okay.

Patty Wells
I don’t know what you’re talking about. But

Carly Someplace
I accomplish things. So, so Okay, so something that Pete and I do every single night before we go to bed. And I started this like, probably like six months ago, maybe a little bit more, I don’t really remember. Probably more, I looked at him. And I said every night before we go to bed, because like, like I’m witchy and woowoo. But I’m really bad at like writing down my affirmations and doing things like that. And I just like, I can’t stay, I was good, but go at it for a little while. And then I’m bad at it again, and whatever. And so like, and there’s no good and bad at like, affirming yourself and manifesting and doing things like that. And you really have to, like, take that step and recognize like those aren’t, there’s no good and bad in it. It’s just you’re doing and you’re doing what you do and everything like that. So I told Pate, I was like, I want to, before we go to bed every single night, I want to say three things that were grateful for. Because while like those are, in essence, those are affirmations. And those are manifestations. And those are, I mean, affirmations more than anything else. Because it’s like, today was good because of these things. And like, and those are things that exist in my life already. And so, so we’ve been doing this for like, the majority of the time that we’ve been together and every single night, regardless of where I am traveling, or who I’m with, if I’m with friends, or if I’m whatever, and he calls me to go to bed, he will like he has gone I’ve been like when I did Thanksgiving, I do Thanksgiving with my best friend’s family. And so like every night he’d call and be like, All right, everybody. DAVE What are you grateful for Stacey, what are you grateful for and Michaela for Bailey, okay, Carly, it’s finally your turn. Go around the room and like, make everybody do it. And it just makes me so happy that like he’s taken it so to heart, but we do it every single night. And then I don’t I won’t lie, there are some days that it is really hard to have three things to be grateful for. On really shitty days, it’s really hard. It’s usually that third one that you’re like, Ah, I don’t know. It has been so incredibly just beneficial in like, calming my mind in the evenings. And, and really like, soaking in, in that gratitude. And that really has moved me forward a lot in in manifesting in, you know, knowing that I’ve accomplished things. And or like yesterday, I got a lot of stuff done. I did a ton of computer work. I did all this other stuff. And I was like, I did so many things today. And Pete was like, You do so many things every single day. He’s like, I don’t know why you discredit yourself for doing like, he’s like, he’s like you specifically he did more things on your computer today that have a tangible, like, whatever. And he’s like, but you do a lot of things every day and you’re not giving yourself enough credit for that. And he’s like, I’m really grateful for you, and how hard you work. And I was like, oh god, okay. Yeah, it was just like eye opening. And yeah, it’s been an eye opening thing. And so and even though like my brain is like, Oh my God, you’re not writing these down. Like, it doesn’t matter. Every single night we speak three things into our lives that we are grateful for, that we are happy for. And it can be the simplest things and I think that that’s they don’t have to be big things and and Pete and I say to each other, you know, we’re always constants. So if you’re not one of my three, it’s because you’re number four or you’re Number One always or whatever, and it’s not that yeah, whatever, but I am on a daily basis, pretty much grateful for him. It’s just, it’s really, it’s really nice. And that has changed the tone of we both go to sleep with gratitude, rather than, like resentment for the day, even if it was. And that’s been so incredibly life changing, like life changing. And again, one of the reasons I know he’s my person is because when I brought this up, he was like, okay, like, and it has not he’s, he’s like, Yeah.

Patty Wells
I love it. I love it. Yeah, it’s, I think it’s one of those things, it’s like, realizing that, like, we can take a practice. And we can look at it and say, This is how it will work for me, I don’t have to write it down. Like, I don’t have to write it down. I’m going to make it my own. And I’m going to make it work for me in the ways that I need it to work for me. I do a practice every morning. And I’ve been doing it for I don’t know, like a while now. And it came from a book. And I didn’t even read the full book. Like, it’s one of those things because like I write, yeah, and I remember, there were like two things that it was like in the book, it was like, You should do these two things. And I got the one thing down, and I was like, Well, I got the one thing down, I’ll get to the other one when I get to it. And it’s the book called The artists way. And it’s about like, for all artists, anybody who’s a creator, it’s like, this is how like, it’s like a, this is how you should do it. But the one thing that it said was, every morning, get up and write three pages. braindump doesn’t matter what you’re writing about don’t look amazing. No, it’s like, don’t look at it later. This is not where you go to get, like, you know, like, if you’re a dancer, you just write you just write whatever you write, you know, right. And I get up every morning and I do it. And there’s just this like sense of being like, Oh, I have this practice. And it’s working for me. And I feel good about it. And after I finished, and I’ll tell you there, like there have been some times where I don’t make it to the third page. And instead of being like, I didn’t do it. I’m like, I’m so glad that I did this today, even though I didn’t get to the third page.

Carly Someplace
Well, honestly, like now that like you say that I’m like, God, I should do that. Like, I think just I mean, brain dumps are so useful just to get get things out of our brain, you wrote it down somewhere, it exists in the universe. And if you really, absolutely feel like Oh, my God, I had a thought and I need to look back at it, it’s there. But you don’t again, you don’t have to look back at it. You don’t have to do anything like that, just to get things off of your brain. And I feel like I don’t know what the experience is to like, not be a creative and to be somebody who’s super analytical. Like, I just don’t, I can’t conceptualize that in my brain because I am a creative and I am like, my brain is like ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping ping

Patty Wells
all the time, all the time. I said, I said I remember saying to my partner one night because I was like, I had a thought and I had to like write it down. And like anybody who’s been around me while I’ve been like actively working on my writing is like Patti is nuts. She is like, she’ll just pull the pin out and be like, hold on a second, you know,

Carly Someplace
I know, it’s in my phone.

Patty Wells
I’ll be like, you know, like going to bed I’m like, hold on. So I’m gonna write them down or go back. Oh, hold on again. And. And just having that experience of being like, I used to be afraid. Like, the biggest thing that held me back from being a writer was that when I worked for other people, I knew I could turn it off. I was like, I can turn it off. Because I’m done. If I’m creating for myself, my brain will always want to create and I I won’t be able to tell myself No, I’ll be like, my brain. I’ll be like, this is this is an idea. You got to do something with it. And even if I don’t do anything with it right away, it’ll be like write it down. You’re gonna need it later than that to write Yes. Like, it’s like, you’re finally allowing these things to come out of you that you maybe didn’t before, you know?

Carly Someplace
Yeah. Oh, no, I completely agree with that. Honestly, like, what you were saying resonates within my soul. And I think I had this conversation. The other day of somebody being like, oh my gosh, is it the most amazing thing in the world to have your passion? Your job? Was like, yeah, absolutely. But also it’s exhausting. Like it makes It’s still a job, it’s still my career. I love what I do so incredibly much, but there are like, I have to step away from a camera. I don’t take my camera places anymore. I don’t like just, you know, casually take pictures of friends or hanging out or anything like that. And I have these friends who are like insane documentary photographers, because like, where I stopped bringing my camera everywhere and doing everything with it, they leaned into it, and it wasn’t like, that wasn’t the path for me, and that’s fine. But I look at them with such envy that I’m like, Oh, God, these moments in your life are so immortalized that I love them. Like, there’s this picture from College of my friend Myra, taken by my friend Elliot. Elliot is a photographer who shoots for National Geographic on a regular basis. Now, myRA is an insanely talented documentary photographer as well. She grew up in Pakistan and like documented a lot of everything happening in Pakistan when, you know, I was a teenager and she was a teenager. And there’s this picture that Elliot took of Myra. And they were in a car going to Taco Bell and it has just like, like, the lights are perfect. And all this other stuff. And it’s like this, like glowing hazy, like, very, I feel like this word gets overused in art school like nobody’s business, like, reminiscent. And I look at it, and I just see my friends in the car. But I feel like anybody else would be like, I’ve been there I’ve had that moment I’ve created like, the fact that like Eliot created it. And it’s this, it is this beautiful moment. And like nostalgia is like the other word that comes up in art school all the time. And I was like, but I’m obsessed with this. Like, I’m obsessed with seeing this. And I’m obsessed with, like these moments of our lives that are so incredibly fleeting, that aren’t captured and like, and then I’m like, oh my god, I should be doing more. I should take my camera everywhere. I should like, I should be I mean, my puppy is four months old. And I’m like, oh, I should be taking more pictures of her every single day. And then I’m like, what are you gonna do with them, Carly?

Patty Wells
Like, how do you not burn out? Or you can’t you know? Yeah, exactly. Like when you’re a creator. It’s like you have to sustainably create create, too, because it’s like, you could, you know, photograph everything I can write about everything. There’s so many options. Yeah.

Carly Someplace
Oh, there are so many options. And I think it’s like, the hardest part. And I don’t know, maybe you feel this too is like you want to, you really want to but you know, you can’t. I want to take photos of everything. So like one of the moments that I can see, like, of like, I wish I had a photo of it. Like in my mind’s eye, I can see it and that’s fine. But nobody else will ever like. See that moment is at the brand retreat when we were all sitting in that house in Atlanta, watching the savage X Fenty, lingerie show. And we’re all just like, curled up on this couch and on the floor, and everybody’s in blankets and just like chillin with each other. And I was like, God, I need a picture of this so bad. But I was like, Don’t get up just enjoy. And like, but I can see it and like, but I wish I had a photo of it. I wish I had like, this is it like this? These are the moments and we’re all like, you know, sharing popcorn and candy and just like throwing things at each other and like having the best time.

Patty Wells
Yeah, and just being like, super, like, held in each other’s presence and held by the show that we’re watching and just being like, all at ease together. You know?

Carly Someplace
I wish I had a photo that like really encapsulated that and but the thing is that like, in the vein of nostalgia, and in the vein of creativity is that any photo I took, honestly, won’t probably do it justice. Yeah. And so that’s where that’s where that’s where I’ve made the choice as an artist to dive into the moments that I can do justice to, instead of those like fleeting moments that will forever for ever be in my brain versus things that I can actually put into a visualization. Yeah, yeah. And that like that’s what the choice comes down to. And there are other photographers, even photographers that I’m friends with, who like they can take those fleeting moments like that is their passion is those fleeting moments and they can make them these beautiful, beautiful things. And that’s not one of my strong points, and that’s okay, I have to be okay with that. Just Because I have a camera doesn’t mean I have to document every single February moment, every moment because like, I will hold that moment specifically, so incredibly dear in my heart, and in my brain. And I can see it and I can like, I can feel it. And I can like, all of those things, but like, it doesn’t have to live and exist in a photo for me to have that. And as geographer, that’s me recognizing, this doesn’t have to be anything except for what it is. For it to be a beautiful moment it does not have to be captured. And that’s, that’s huge.

Patty Wells
I think that that’s one of those things that like, when you’re when you’re living art, like living your art, you recognize, right, like, Yeah, you, you lean into the things that you’re like, This is what I am good at, or this is where I excel. And this is where it’s okay for me to not, you know what I mean change or not? Um, and I think that’s like, one of the ways you retool the imposter syndrome is by going, Yeah, you know, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m not gonna write in like, I’m not gonna, I joke because when I write poetry, like I, the the poem that I won, like my first contest with for my college, and that was the first poem I got published. The poem is about imposter syndrome. It’s about writing a shitty poem. And I wrote that poem. I love that. Because I, I was like, I want to be a writer and I, I follow this lady that I saw do slam poetry on button poetry. I’m like an internet stalker sometimes. So like, if I ever internet stalk you, it’s because I think you’re amazing. But I heard on button poetry, like doing this poem. And I was like, I was beautiful black woman, like fierce. And I was like, love her. What’s her name, searched her audit on Facebook, right? And then I met her in person. And she was like, teaching writing workshops. And I was like, Well, I’d like to take one, I’d like to be a writer. So I joined her writing workshop. And it’s full of this like, group of like, slam poets from Oakland who have known each other from back in the day. And then like me, and I have like, like, Hi, I’m Patti. I think I’m a writer, I’d like to write. And I remember, like, the first prompt she gave us, I don’t even remember what the prompt was, she gave us a prompt. And I’m really bad at writing, from prompts, right? Like, people do that. It’s a thing. I’m horrible at it. She gave us a prompt. And then she was like, 10 minutes. And I remember, like watching the countdown of the time, and just like staring at the blank page. Like, I have no idea what to write. I don’t know what to write. And so I just wrote about, like, a really nasty poem that is like, not good. And at the end, I had a good poem. And I was like, That was weird. Because I knew that like, I wasn’t going to create something that was like, based on this prompt, I wasn’t going to be able to fulfill that like, so instead, I just did something else. I did what I could do. Right. And then I was happy with it. Right?

Carly Someplace
That I love that. I love that. I love that so much. I really Yeah. I mean, transformation, right? Transformation of these things within ourselves that we like, see, and we’re like, oh, no, it’s not good enough. And then it’s like, but this is what I have here. It is. Really? Right. But like, right, you feel that to have like, here it is. It’s shiny. I made it, please. I worked on this, I promise. But it is it’s like it’s that. It’s that. And that’s where art comes from?

Patty Wells
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and the funny thing is, is we watch anybody else doing it, like people see me doing it, and they’re like, wow, you know, like, or I’ll like read my poetry somewhere. And people come to me and they’ll be like, Oh, you want to? You want to talk to me about my writing. But I see someone else doing and I’m like, Oh my God, that’s so amazing. You’re so great, you know, and then I make something and I’ll be like, oh, yeah, I wrote a poem, but you know, and it’s the learning to be okay with the fact that like, you don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else. Like your your creation is your creation, right? Like what you have, like in everything, even if you’re not a creator, like what each of us has to give to the world is unique to us, because there is no other us, you know, and so it’s just about figuring out what that is. You know, I think that that’s one of the things things I love about the good side of the internet is like, yes. Oh, good side of the internet there’s there’s so much

Carly Someplace
bad on the internet there really is like, including but not limited to the news. Like, I just can’t some days most days, but like if the good of the internet, yes.

Patty Wells
It’s like, it’s like seeing people just like get excited about whatever their thing is or whatever they’re doing or whatever, you know. And it’s like, oh, like, yeah, I, I have no idea how to do that. Awesome. Like that is super exciting. I am excited that you’re like, figuring out what you want to do, even if that’s just like, sit in your pajamas and drink wine. Awesome. Right? You know? I think that that’s, you know, it’s, I mean, I honestly, if somebody put a tick tock leg out like, and that’s all they did was sit in their pajamas and drink wine. And then just like, you know, I don’t know if that is a tick tock thing, but watch it.

Carly Someplace
Be like, listen, girl, what’s your drinkin? Does it taste good? Tell me about it. Where are those jammies from? I really do think like, it’s, I think it speaks volumes that just in any situation. Pretty much anybody that we know anybody who, who’s putting themselves out there anybody who’s in in a public sphere of presenting anything. So for you poetry for me photos, and a podcast and a million other things. But like, it exists, and we we all have imposter syndrome. And I think that there’s, it’s acknowledging that and I and acknowledging, I mean, so many of the things that we said manifesting and, and being able to use that in a different way and moving forward with it and not listening to external forces or taking what you will from external forces. That’s a huge skill and talent just to be like, cool, I read this book, or I read part of this book, and I got one thing out of it. If you get one thing out of anything, you’ve learned something and like, that’s so incredibly powerful, like Knowledge is power. Knowledge supreme. It really does, though, like knowledge is. And that’s the thing, though, is, knowledge isn’t the same thing for

Patty Wells
everybody. Yeah, and we all we all need to learn different things. We all learn

Carly Someplace
different things. And we all learn different skills. And we all learn different everything and like not knowledge, like here’s the English language, and how to put all of the correct commas in the correct places, because I’m really bad at that. But like, just anything knowledge, you’ve learned something from one person from one book, you’ve learned a fact you’ve learned a habit, you’ve learned anything, it’s so incredibly important to be able to like take that knowledge and move it forward. And in essence, it will then become something that you teach somebody else. And I think that that is just like such an insane part of human connection. Oh, it’s so cool. And it all comes back to manifesting and what you’re taking these things from and what your what work you’re doing on yourselves, yourselves with knowledge and this knowledge you’ve gained and how you can pass that to others, and how that influences what comes into your life, which is really freakin cool. Oh, my gosh, this conversation is getting so good. I am relating so much everything that Patty is sharing about. Now don’t forget to join us next week as we air part two of Patty’s episode where we continue this conversation all about manifesting. Thanks so much for listening to someplace for everybody. If you love this episode, would you mind leaving me a review in your favorite podcast app and subscribe to the show. If you’re looking for a community to love on you and support you in your self love Journey, come join our all gender Facebook group someplace for everybody which can be found in the show notes at someplace for everybody.com Until we meet again, be kind to yourself.